


a light in dark places

by Medie



Category: Babylon 5
Genre: Backstory, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-26
Updated: 2012-12-26
Packaged: 2017-11-22 12:50:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/610003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Medie/pseuds/Medie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carolyn goes her own way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a light in dark places

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aris Merquoni (ArisTGD)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArisTGD/gifts).



> Irilenn's name comes from [this dictionary](http://www.jumpnow.de/dic/view_names.php)

She's a tiny little thing. Really, really tiny and, in a dark cloak, really easily overlooked. That's probably the reason Carolyn pretty much bowls the girl over, stepping on her foot and knocking her backward into the wall. 

"Oh my god," she breathes, rushing forward to help. "I am so sorry! I didn't see you there. I didn't think anyo--" 

The explanation dies a fast death when the girl looks up at her, peering out from beneath the hood of her cloak and reveals Minbari features. "It's all right," she says, her voice pitched softly. She straightens and takes a step forward. "I am not supposed to be here."

"No," Carolyn agrees. "I guess you wouldn't be. Is there something that I can help you with?"

"No," the girl says. Her hands come up and she's carrying a small wooden box in them. "I am here to help you. I do not wish to alarm you, Carolyn Sykes, and I mean you no harm, but I do carry a message for you."

"A message from who?"

The girl smiles. "Entil'zha." 

"Never heard of him."

*

Turns out she's wrong about that.

*

The box is beautifully carved. Her name etched into the lid. It's also very, very old. Carolyn takes it and the girl into the ship with her. Babylon 5's safe territory for her, but the way the girl keeps watch as they walk back to the ship suggests nowhere is safe right now. 

"Don't suppose you've got a name?" she asks, looking down at the young Minbari.

"Irilenn." 

"Religious caste?"

"Yes." Irilenn steps into the ship, but takes position by the door. "I was once of the Sisters of Valeria."

"A nun, huh?" Carolyn asks.

"That is not a term we would use, but it is not inaccurate either." Irilenn looks amused as she lowers her hood. She's pretty, like most Minbari, but there's a lurid scar running along her cheekbone.

Carolyn winces looking at it. "I guess you didn't pick that up with the Sisters."

"Yes, actually," Irilenn's amusement dims. "During the war with your people."

"Oh god, we did that?"

"No," Irilenn shakes her head. "A member of the warrior caste did." She smiles, sad. "There is much to the story you do not yet know, Carolyn Sykes."

"I'll bet." Carolyn looks down at the box in her hands. "And this is going to tell me?"

"I do not know," Irilenn replies. "I was given the box by Sech Turval and told to bring it to you on Babylon 5. I was to wait until you opened and then receive further instruction."

Carolyn's eyebrows rise. "Instruction from who?"

"You, I presume." Irilenn reaches into her cloak. Carolyn catches a glimpse of shining metal in her palm. "I am to wait outside and ensure you are not disturbed."

"What's that?" Carolyn asks.

Irilenn looks at her hand and smiles. "A denn'bok." She holds it out and Carolyn jumps when it extends into a long rod. "A fighting pike." 

"You won't need that here," Carolyn assures. 

"You already suspect that I do," Irilenn says, opening the hatch. "And I assure you that suspicion is correct. Our enemies have struck at the station before. You have but to ask Ambassador Kosh to know how efficiently they may do so." She smiles. "I will be outside when you are ready."

She steps through the hatch and it closes behind her.

*

There's a letter inside the box. It's long, written in a familiar hand, and it shatters Carolyn's world within two sentences.

 _Jeff_.

*

"You can't expect me to believe this!" 

Carolyn bursts through the hatch, brandishing the letter, and gapes in shock when she sees a Vorlon standing at Irilenn's side.

The girl is quiet, eyes downcast, and Carolyn can understand it. She lowers the letter and swallows, nervous.

"Ambassador Kosh?"

" _Yes_."

"Something I can help you with?" 

Kosh ghosts forward. Carolyn holds steady, refusing to be intimidated. She's pretty sure no one's fooled by her bravado, but goddamn it, she doesn't care. It's the principle of the thing. 

" _Leave him_." 

*

She argues, she rages, but in the end, she does. She could love Jeff. Easily. He's good. He's _wonderful_. She can see how wonderful it would be, but the more she fights it, the more the evidence piles up.

The letter is Jeff's. The handwriting is right, the words are right, and she can't pretend that it's a forgery. Especially not with a _Vorlon_ backing it up.

Jeff is Valen.

Jeff is the goddamn Minbari Jesus. 

She cries, she rages, and then she laughs herself sick. 

It's ridiculous.

And she believes it.

*

She just doesn't believe the rest of it.

*

"You should go home," she tells Irilenn. "I'm sure Entil'zha will need you."

"Yes, he does," Irilenn replies. "That is why I am here. He requires me at your side." She reaches into that voluminous cloak of hers again. Carolyn's not surprised when she produces a box nearly identical to the one given her. "I was to open this when I had delivered yours."

"Let me guess--he wants you to keep an eye on me."

Irilenn smiles. 

Carolyn shakes her head. "A thousand years in the past and he's _still_ a goddamn motherhen."

*

They leave in the morning. Irilenn visits Ambassador Delenn before she goes. Carolyn visits Jeff. 

It breaks her heart to do it, but she hides it well. Hers is a job with ready made excuses and their relationship isn't quite serious enough to call it a break up. They kept things casual for a reason and she knows there are others in his past. 

She smiles, lets him kiss her once, and promises to look him up the next time she's through.

Carolyn makes down three levels before she lets out one small sob. 

*

Irilenn is on the ship, waiting, when she gets back. Her cloak has been discarded, tucked out of sight in one of the cabins, the collapsed pike hanging from the belt of a more functional uniform.

"Anla'shok?" Carolyn asks, casual, like she hasn't spent the entire night obsessively reading. 

"Yes."

"Don't suppose you've got another one of those on you," Carolyn asks, tipping her head at the pike.

"I don't." Irilenn smiles. "But I can teach you."

*

Carolyn's lousy with a pike, but she's aces with the Minbari answer to a ppg. Which is good, because Irilenn isn't.

They try it on an abandoned world, shooting at targets Irilenn painstakingly arranged for them. When she steps up to try, after Carolyn's had enough of practice, she's so godawful that Carolyn ends up slumped against a wall laughing.

"A most inefficient weapon," Irilenn decides, thrusting it back at her.

Carolyn snickers. "Honey, like my granddad always said? It's a poor carpenter that blames their tools."

Irilenn scowls, but there's a glimmer of warmth in her eye. "Tell me of your home?" 

Carolyn does. Irilenn returns the favor. 

*

They trade stories all through the Shadow War, ducking Alliance and Shadow alike as they ferry supplies and people for the Anla'shok. It's the most terrifying fun Carolyn's had in years.

She almost forgets how she got here. 

*

And then Jeff disappears.

*

She falls apart. 

*

Irilenn sits beside her in the dark; a steady presence. Carolyn ignores her at first. She curls on her side and stares dry-eyed at nothing, but when the tears come and Irilenn wraps herself around her, Carolyn clutches hold and lets herself weep.

*

Jeff's gone. Kosh dies. The Shadows nearly rip everything apart and then they're gone. 

*

It's ridiculous. 

*

"A thousand years, two wars, they murder millions, and then they just leave?"

Irilenn shrugs. She's picked up more than a few of Carolyn's mannerisms in the past few years. It's adorable when it isn't irritating. Not bothering to try and figure out which today is, Carolyn makes a face at her answer of, "Yes."

"No explanations, no justifications, John Sheridan gives them the boot and they just take it?"

"Yes." Irilenn makes them tea, settling across from her at the table. "But that is nowhere near the end of it."

*

It never is.

*

Thank God. 

*

It's still ridiculous.


End file.
